there's a place in
your heart
and I know that it is love
and this place could
be much
brighter than tomorrow
and if you really try
you'll find there's no need
to cry
in this place you'll feel
there's no hurt or sorrow


I wouldn't normally post two Michael Jackson songs in a row, let alone the SAME Michael Jackson song twice in a row, but...

I am emotionally exhausted. I never thought I'd get all worked up at the death of a famous person. When John Lennon was shot, a friend asked if my mom had cried upon hearing the news. I thought it was weird that her mom had cried and preposterous that my mom would cry because some famous guy died. When Princess Diana was killed, I was sort of nauseated by what I saw as faux and showy mourning.

But Michael was clearly a beautiful (if perhaps tormented) soul who wrote and performed music that made me giggle, made me cry, and made me boogie. His music has given me joy for my entire life and moved me to tears for much of it.

I defended him when people first started saying horrible things about him. I don't believe that the man who gave us "We Are the World," "Heal the World," "Human Nature," "The Man in the Mirror," "Black or White," etc. could ever hurt anyone. He was persecuted for becoming an unsympathetic character with very deep pockets. And he gave love in return.

And people are saying horrible things about him today. They hope he burns in hell.

If realms like heaven and hell do exist, I'm pretty sure that he's going to whichever one is full of music. And the people choosing to say horrible things? They're probably going to the place where there is neither his music nor the music of anyone influenced by him. Or maybe we're all going to the place that's flooded by Michael's music to learn about love and joy and inspiration.

And I will remain incredibly grateful to Michael Jackson, Quincy Jones, and everyone else whose accumulated efforts made it possible for me to listen to Off the Wall and Thriller.

There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares of joyful giving
If we try
We shall see
In this bliss
We cannot feel
Fear or dread
We stop existing and start living

There have been one or two times in my life where I encountered someone with so little regard -- or so much contempt -- for others that I thought "wow, maybe I could actually be angry with or hate someone." But each time, I quickly realized that the worst I'm capable of feeling about another person is pity.

Hate and anger are weird things. I don't understand why people hang on to either one. And, yes, I pity those who do. Because the only thing that seems to make sense is that they hate themselves.

I wish I could have my superpower now. The one where I can run around hugging people and infuse them with intellect, integrity, love, and respect.

Plumeria alba in bloom at Volcan Masaya

I'm increasingly suspicious that my life is too good for me. Can I really deserve all this?

I guess I can only continue to work hard, appreciate everything I have, and hope my luck doesn't run out.

I spent the weekend on Bourbon Street and all I got was this stupid baby.

I've seen the nations rise and fall,
I've heard their stories, heard them all,
But love's the only engine of survival

I'm hoping President Obama was predicting the future of his administration when he said "peaceful protest could shake the foundations of an empire, and expose the emptiness of an ideology."


Let's go jangle keys in front of the Capitol and the White House!

And she can't
And she won't
And she don't
STOP!

Now that I've accepted that ADHD is a neuromapping-based understanding of how creative, right-brained people's minds work, I'm finally learning how to develop even better coping mechanisms than the ones I unknowingly developed up until now.

I don't know why I spent so many years calling it a made-up disorder. I guess I was just turned off by the drug use aspect, which I still fully intend to avoid. After all, I've made ADHD work for myself this far, why stop now?

I can't possibly recommend Freed and Shapiro's book 4 Weeks to an Organized Life with AD/HD enough. Yes, they offer a number of ideas for coping, but if you've made it this far, you've probably come up with your own methods. What's fantastic is how well they illustrate what's going on in your mind that's not going on in the minds of other people. You not only realize just why you're lucky, but how to maximize our potential.

Does my mind ever quit? No, but that's okay. Do I have a hard time focusing on boring things? Yes, but that's okay. Do I still get so excited about ideas that I can't sleep? Yes. Do I still juggle 27 projects at a time? Yes. But, who cares? I am so much more productive after simply reading this book -- and not yet even trying the suggested methods -- it's unbelievable! And it's just because I better understand how my brain works.

I am thankful for these authors -- and my brilliant yoga teacher for getting me to meditate more often -- for helping me unleash the Force!

Now it's a matter of counting down the days until I launch the empire!!! Hooray.

I WANT YOU to want me
I NEED YOU to need me
I'D LOVE YOU to love me

My name is Uncle Sam. My job description is crazy, but here are a few of my specialties:

I wage wars.
I point guns.
I pull triggers.
Sometimes I shoot the men I recruited to fight my wars. (They may die, but because they die by accident, I call it "FRIENDLY" fire.)
I drop bombs.
Sometimes I drop bombs on the wrong targets.
I kidnap innocent Americans.
I torture people.
I kill women and children.
I take your driver's license away if you are late paying me $37.
I take a chunk of your paycheck away every month (or two weeks if that's how often you get paid).
I won't let you do business with your neighbors.
I shoot your family members if they're coming to visit from another country.
I control the airwaves.
I search you and your bags before you get on a plane.
I'll deprive you of marijuana even if you're dying of cancer and suffering unimaginable pain.
I'll prevent perfectly good treatments from going to market for decades if the drugmakers don't jump through my very expensive hoops.
I don't care if you're on a three-month trajectory to the grave and you're desperate to try it, if a new drug has not been tested by me, I will imprison anyone who takes pity on you and lets you experiment.
Oh, did I mention that I have 1 in 100 of your neighbors in jail already? Nearly half are in jail for bags of weed, for being too ignorant to recognize the sham that is the plea bargain, or for other consensual or victimless crimes.
I listen to your conversations.

You see? I can do anything!

And I would LOVE to take the job of providing your health care. Send those needles my way. And those doctors and nurses -- I'll show them a thing or two about the value of human life.

Obama, give me the keys to the nation's medicine cabinets, doctors' offices, and ICUs. I'm ready to provide tender loving care to the people who need it most.

There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone

Two weeks ago, I sent an email to a bunch of friends thanking them for being a part of my life. I was feeling so fortunate and so happy.

There are a number of people whose addresses I have lost over time -- and failed hard drives -- and so I tried to track them down.

And I've just found out that one of them has left this world. Forever. By choice.

I will find a way to walk to the beach and swim in his Pacific and wash away this hurt and sadness. And then I will feel better. And I will be glad that we shared songs and love and laughter. And I will be happy to have a piece of his beautiful soul in my heart.


Update: I'd hoped to have the beach to myself, but the surf was up and the water was full of surfers, some of whom I'm sure once surfed with my waterman friend. It was perfect to share the waves with them. I'm full of fond memories. And love.

Love Booker T

American presidential politics aside, I like to believe that good will always prevail.

"No man, who continues to add something to the material, intellectual and moral well-being of the place in which he lives, is left long without proper reward."

Old John the Baptist
Old John divine

As if my sense of self needed further inflating, since ending a "relationship" with a much younger guy, I've been hit on and/or carded nearly every time I've left the house.

This old girl got at the truth in an ethically questionable way, but the truth really has set me free!

Cryin' "holy! holy! to the Lord"